But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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