I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Small penises have feelings too.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Randomize