Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
