I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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