what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
