Im at strip club and am horny
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I love you. Go after that dick
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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