Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize