what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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