I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
