hell yes lets make some ravioli
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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