Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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