Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
