all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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