he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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