Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
