New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Randomize
