You really coming over, don't trick.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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