doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize