The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
True college students do jello shots in the library
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
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