Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
