she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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