I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
