my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
