I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Randomize
