Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I think my nap took me to another dimension
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
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