also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
