At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
