On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
