im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
