For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Randomize