There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Let's get the cat blown out
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
