my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
