dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
