I love black thongs
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
