Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Randomize
