That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize