think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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