erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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