Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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