so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
