My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Randomize
