I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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