so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
You smell like stripper and shame
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Randomize
