Umm I'm too high to move.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
