I CAN MOONWALK!
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
