my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
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