She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
