You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
