Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Randomize
