Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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