Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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