He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
