The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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