I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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