Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
