the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
