can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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