My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Boobs are out for the taking
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
