I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Randomize
