My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
