Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I would ride that face into the sunset
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
