I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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