I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
It's not a walk of shame if you run
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
