On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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