we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Randomize
