i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
