so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
