my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
