What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
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