Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Actions speak louder than pants.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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