Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
