And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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