Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
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