She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
sick fucks of a feather flock together
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
