You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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