just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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