SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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