I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
