I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
