??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
