I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize
