Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
i would punch a child for taco bell
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
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