TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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