I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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